how do you know

how do you know if some likes you. whats the give away. I'm an emotional person so, times hard for me... i like to know what ppl are thinking and what there thinking of me

this guy, its the first time iv felt this way, like all worlds stop and all i can think about is him...but its not the same as in the past were i jumped right in to it, and dint take the time to get to know them as a person, as a friend, and as them self's.

but this guy hes just, hes the guy iv all ways seem in my head. the boy who iv dreamed about...and theres a good chance that he dues not feel that way about me. and I'm will to take that...but the more i think about it the more i see i need some one like him (him i hope) in my life i know whats wrong in my life. the stuff i want to stop doing, the ppl i want to stop hanging out with, and the way i live my life. i need some one like him to help me down the right path, the motivation to do it, to leave behind this part of my life.

i stop believing in god, some years ago. high school was bad for me, i was fat and slip in to that darker side of it all...my dad got a new wife who forced me to got to church and dress up and shoved it in my face (shes still dues) and i was a grumpy teen so i fully pulled away from it all i stoped caring about life...in my 4 years of high school i atimped to kill my self about 8 time...but right be for i did it, id think of my family and the ways i was raised...i loved church as a kid, it was a happy place for me... but as iv got older and far away from that time, the more empty iv felt..and so iv spinet miny atime and miny a thing to feel my self...drinking, sex, boys, girls. rocky horror, drugs....and all ways as sune as the highs gone I'm empty, I'm lonely, and I'm down....

i think I'm just starting to see that, that I'm not that sad grumpy mad teen, iv all ways bine older then the kids my age..but i all ways did my best to act the same..and im starting to see that, that's why i dint like my self i was hiding my self Even from my self....i like the person i am, whine I'm not with the ppl that are holding me back..and i all way told my self i was with them to help them but i was not i was holding my self back.

i feel like a new person, i feel opine, i feel clean!

thanks "best buy guy" as my friends have taken up calling him!